Expanding your family through adoption
Adoption can bring so much joy to a family. But like any path to parenthood, adoption can be complex too. From adoption options to costs to legal considerations, there’s a lot to think about. Let’s start with the basics. Get an overview of the adoption process, learn what to expect and find out where to begin.
What to think about as you consider adoption
While the adoption journey may be exciting, it can also be complicated. Understanding both the positive and challenging aspects of adoption can help you decide if it may be right for you.
Advantages of adopting
- You’ll experience the joys of building or expanding your family
- You can change a child’s life by providing a loving, caring home, along with stability and opportunities they may not have had otherwise
- Your role in adopting a child may also give a birth parent comfort, knowing their child will be safe, loved and cared for1
Challenges of adopting
- The adoption process can be long and complex, and may vary depending on adoption laws in each state or country
- Some families may find the financial considerations a disadvantage of adoption, although some employers offer financial support
- Depending on the age and family history of the child you adopt, there may be behavioral challenges to consider. Also, children who don’t have information about their birth family can sometimes feel like a piece of their background is missing. They may need extra emotional support or may want to seek out birth parents in the future.1
What are my options for adoption?
You have multiple options for adopting a child. Which one is right for you may depend on your family, your finances and other factors unique to you.
Also known as private adoption, this involves working with a licensed adoption agency to adopt a child within the U.S. Some people may choose to work directly with an attorney instead of an agency. This is called an independent private adoption.2 If you want to adopt a newborn or young infant, domestic adoption is typically the path you’ll need to take.3
Other things to know about domestic adoption:
- In the majority of private adoptions, the birth mother will choose the adopting parent or family3
- You’ll typically have access to your child’s medical, family and social background3
- Generally, single people and married couples can adopt, including LGBTQ+ individuals and families
This type of adoption involves adopting a child from a different country than your home country. International adoption tends to be more complex and costly. It involves additional legal work with immigration services. There are also travel costs, including potentially needing to stay for an extended period of time in the country you’re adopting from.2,3
Other things to know about international adoption:
- Children commonly come from foster care facilities and orphanages, so you may not have contact with or information about the birth mother.3
- Your child’s medical and social history may be limited. However, you may have social and educational information if you’re adopting an older child.3
- There may be restrictions on who can adopt, based on the laws in each country. Visit the U.S. Department of State to learn more about the intercountry adoption process.
Also called foster-to-adopt, this type of adoption happens through a state-funded foster care system. Foster children follow this path when their birth parents cannot care for them and attempts at reuniting are unsuccessful.2 In these instances, a foster child is placed in your home with the intention of adoption.4
You may typically think of adoption as bringing a new child into your family. But sometimes, expanding your family can mean taking existing family members or loved ones into your care. Examples include:
- Grandchild adoption: If your grandchild’s birth parent is unable to care for them, you may consider adopting your grandchild. Grandfamilies.org offers resources to support families both within and out of the child welfare system.
- Kinship adoption: Also referred to as relative adoption, this is when a family member adopts a child they’re related to. For example, an aunt or uncle could adopt a niece or nephew, or an adult sibling could adopt a younger sibling.4
- Adult adoption: In most states, it’s legal to adopt an adult. Families may choose this option to adopt a foster child who has aged out of the system. It can also be a way to pass on an inheritance.4
- Stepchild adoption: If you want to legally blend your family, you may consider stepchild adoption. Laws and requirements for this type of adoption are determined by your state, but the process may be faster than other types of adoption.4
- Second-parent adoption: This type of adoption is common among LGBTQ+ families. If your partner had a baby using a sperm or egg donor, a second-parent adoption ensures you’re also legally recognized as a parent.5
Closed vs. open adoption
As you begin learning about the different types of adoption, you’ll also want to think about whether you want a closed adoption or open adoption.
- Closed adoption: This is when no identifying information is shared between the birth family and adoptive family. However, you will receive non-identifying information about your child and their birth family. Once the adoption is finalized, records are sealed. Depending on the terms of the adoption and local laws, records may or may not be available to your child when they turn 18.4
- Open adoption: An open adoption means you’ll have some form of contact with your child’s birth parents. You may exchange pictures and letters, have video or phone calls, or establish other arrangements. Adoptions of older children and teenagers may be open, as the adopted child may have relationships with birth family members they want to maintain.4
What do I need to know about the adoption process?
Adoption can be a lengthy, complex process. That’s because the agencies, states and other professionals involved want to make sure the child being adopted is going to a safe, loving home.6 Here’s what to know about the adoption process, so you can get an idea of what to expect.
Regardless of the adoption option you choose, you’ll typically need to meet some basic requirements. These may include:
- Age: Prospective parents must be at least 21 years old. Adoptions in the U.S. typically don’t have an age cutoff, but a birth parent may have a preferred age range for an adoptive parent. International adoptions may have age requirements depending on the country.6
- Physical and emotional health: Stable medical and emotional health is necessary for prospective parents. If there is current physical or psychiatric illness, or a history of these conditions, a doctor’s statement may be needed to vouch for your ability to care for a child.6
- Financial status: There typically isn’t a set income requirement for adoptive parents. But you’ll need to prove you have the income, medical insurance and other resources needed to raise a child and pay for the adoption process.6
- Child abuse clearance: Anyone in your home over 18 must undergo a child abuse clearance process. This is required in every U.S. state. If a past history or record of abuse is found, adoption likely won’t be possible.6
- Criminal background check: If an arrest history is found, you’ll need to provide personal statements and dispositions (the outcome of the arrest on your criminal record). Certain criminal charges may prevent you from adopting.6
Adoption requirements will typically be reviewed as part of a home study, which is required for most types of adoption. A home study is a series of meetings between you and an adoption agency social worker. They’ll ask you questions, gather documents and request personal references. You’ll have a chance to ask questions too. At least one meeting will be at your home, and everyone living in your household must attend.7
Adoption laws vary by state and country. The Adoption Network offers information about adoption laws by state. If you’re interested in international adoption, visit the U.S. Department of State to learn more about intercountry adoption.
The Adoption Center also provides a helpful overview of different adoption laws that may impact or be a part of your adoption journey.
Most U.S. adoption agencies will allow single people and unmarried couples to adopt.8 This is usually true for foster care adoption too. Members of the LGBTQ+ community are also typically able to adopt, although foster and adoption laws for LGBTQ+ families vary by state.
International adoption may have different requirements, depending on the country. Some countries may only allow married couples to adopt. 6 And certain countries may have laws that prevent same-sex or LGBTQ+ couples from adopting.9
Adoption wait times vary based on the type of adoption you choose. But on average, adopting an infant in the U.S. can take about a year.10 International adoptions typically take longer because the process tends to be more complex.
If you’re hoping to become a foster parent, it usually takes about 6 months to get approved. Once you’re approved, the wait time to adopt from foster care varies. It depends on whether a child is available to adopt, or if the goal is still to reunite a child with their birth parent.10
What are the costs for adoption?
Adoption costs can vary widely depending on the path you choose. State laws and requirements can also impact costs. Here’s a general estimate of what you may expect to pay.
Adoption type |
Cost |
|---|---|
| Domestic adoption |
|
International adoption |
|
Foster-to-adopt |
|
Stepchild or second-parent adoption |
|
Are there options to help make adoption affordable?
Financial help may be available. Here are some options to consider:
- Federal adoption tax credit: You may be eligible for a tax credit for qualifying adoption expenses up to a certain amount, depending in your income.11
- Employer assistance: Check to see if your employer provides benefits that may help cover the cost of adoption expenses.
- Grants and loans: Organizations like the National Adoption Foundation help support adoptive families through financial grants and loans.
- Military aid: If you’re an active-duty military member, you may be eligible for a one-time reimbursement of a portion of your adoption expenses.11
If adoption still feels out of reach, you may want to consider the foster system. Adopting a foster child involves little to no costs for your family. You’ll also likely receive financial and medical assistance from the state to help you care for your child.13
What steps can I take if I’m ready to start the adoption process?
The adoption process may feel a bit overwhelming. Taking things one step at a time may help it feel more manageable. If you’re ready to start your journey, here are some tips on where begin:
- Learn more about adoption. Adopt America Network offers a list of resources to help you expand your adoption knowledge, including adoption websites and adoption-related books.
- Choose an adoption agency. In most situations, you’ll need to work with an agency to adopt a child. Search the National Council for Adoption member directory to find an agency in your area.
- Prepare for a home study. A home study is required for most adoptions and determines whether you’ll be allowed to adopt. To help you get an idea of what to expect, here’s a list of home study requirements by state.
- Consider an attorney. Working with an attorney experienced in adoption can help you navigate all the legal requirements. Search the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys directory to find an attorney near you.
- Review your health insurance. You’ll need to add your child to your health insurance plan when they join your family. Adoption is considered a qualifying life event, which means you can make changes to your health plan outside of the annual enrollment period.
Is there support available for adoptive parents?
The adoption process can be long and challenging, but it’s not something you have to experience on your own. Whether you’ve already adopted a child or you’re still in the process, connecting with other families may help provide insight, guidance and emotional support. Consider joining a support group for adoptive parents or adoptive foster families.
Remember to make time for your own well-being too. Caring for your physical health and mental health may help you feel better equipped to manage the highs and lows of the adoption process, parenthood and beyond.